7 Questions for Healing Your Inner Child Over a Coffee: Taking Action From TikTok’s Latest Self-Care Trend

“Healing your inner child” is a therapy concept that’s made its way into the public discourse in recent years. It often has a place in the therapy room when clients are looking to heal old wounds from an adult perspective. 

The term has become popular mental health speak online, and inspired poet Jennae Cecelia to metaphorically meet her younger self over coffee. She shared a poem of the experience on TikTok in February, and it’s been viral ever since. 

The poet started a movement in which social media users are asking their current selves questions to converse with their inner child. And as some social media trends do, this one has made its way into the therapy room — and with good reason. 

There’s certainly a benefit to speaking with your younger self. Not only does it fit the pattern of inner child work — a technique designed to heal and reparent previous versions of ourselves — but it can lead to using Internal Family Systems therapies, or even Cognitive Behavioral modalities when guided by a licensed professional. While it’s certainly possible to ask yourself a list of questions solo, a therapist can tailor the line of questioning to your personal experience and healing needs. 

Here are some examples of questions your inner child may have for adult you. 

• Where do we live and do we like it?

• Do we have the job we wanted at Kindergarten career day? 

• Are we happy? 

• Is ____ still our best friend? 

• What kind of pets do we have, or do we want? 

• What is your favorite thing about me? 

• What goals do we have, and do they have roots in our childhood? 

These questions require discourse between the here and now and the past. They honor the thoughts, beliefs, and world views of a younger version of yourself while remaining rooted in your current reality. For some answers, you may be pleased to see a pattern or trend that’s carried on from childhood. In others, you may feel you’ve fallen short of a goal set by a much different version of yourself. There’s no right or wrong answer when reflecting on the path you’ve taken. What’s important is a willingness to explore emotions that arise when the answers do or don’t meet the hopes of your younger self. 

If you’re looking to explore inner child work, but direct personal questions are a bit too heavy, start smaller. Some introductory questions to begin a dialogue could include: 

• Is our favorite food still ___? 

• What is our childhood celebrity crush up to now? 

• Do we have the same favorite toy or comfort item? 

• What has been the best day of our lives so far? 

As with any self-exploration, pacing yourself is encouraged. Opening a dialogue with past versions of the self can lead to discomfort at times. For a more personalized experience in exploring your inner child, with the guidance of Chicago Center for Behavioral Health clinicians, click here.