Therapist Thoughts: Making Unique Meaning of Valentine’s Day and What ‘Love’ Really Means
There are a million different ways to define the word “love.”
Traditionally, we veer into the romantic when we think about the concept. On Valentine’s Day, we’re surrounded by bouquets of roses, giant teddy bears, and lots of pink packaging. It can be intimidating for both single and happily partnered people to approach a Hallmark-crafted day. Instead of leading with gratitude, it sometimes feels like the holiday urges a challenge of how “perfect” any one relationship is.
If you take one thing away from reading this, let it be: Valentine’s Day really does matter. Just not in the way you think.
From a therapist’s perspective, we can gain so much from a day designed to celebrate love. However, I encourage you to get creative about what “love” means to you. It very well may be putting your romantic life in the spotlight. It could be spending time with aging family members, or gathering your closest friends for a “Galentine’s Day” like Parks and Recreation’s Leslie Knope. How you define love, and how you choose to celebrate it, is up to you.
The concept is key: we have dedicated one day a year to celebrate the love we have or dream about the love we want to find. Let it lead you into a place of gratitude, goal setting, or reflection. Love is a driving force in how we view the world and ourselves. By allowing it space, we can acknowledge the full range of emotions that love brings us, no matter how bittersweet.
Valentine’s Day also offers a unique opportunity for exploring self-love. For those not in romantic relationships, the holiday often brings up a conversation of self-worth. If you find yourself feeling left out, hopeless, and jaded by dating apps, use this February to explore the love you crave, as well as the love you already have. If self-love is a difficult topic, start with all of the small things you do to care for yourself: brushing your teeth, listening to your favorite music, caring for yourself or a pet. The little things add up over time, and create a picture of a person doing their best — no matter how hard it may feel sometimes.
The way you choose to approach Valentine’s Day is up to you. Journal about it, send old-fashioned valentines to your friends or have a rom-com marathon. My advice is simple: let this Valentine’s Day be a reflection on every kind of love surrounding you, as well as a guiding light for the love you have yet to receive.