5 Ways to Support Teens Through the College Application Process and Beyond

Although the school year has only just begun, teens know the college application process takes little to no time to rear its stressful head. Schools, parents, peers, and social media are eager to give opinions and advice regarding the “perfect” way to apply — or the perfect places. 

The teenage years are already full of academic pressure and self-comparison, and the college search often brings these sometimes overbearing concerns to the surface. Though stress — in this case, caused by future aspirations — is unavoidable, there are some ways to approach the inherently scary process with compassion and healthy consideration.

1. Offer support for applications without overstepping

You don’t have to write your child’s college essay for them. Leaving room for your child’s autonomy, creativity, and true goals can encourage them to start early when it comes to self-sufficiency. There’s nothing wrong with offering help as your child embarks on this very unique application process. That may come in the form of hands-on assistance or college application prep courses. At the same time, it’s okay for your child to say “no” and handle things on their own. 

2. Allow your teen to communicate what they want

As a parent, wanting the best for your child makes sense. For some, this may be an Ivy League school or a major that will bring financial flexibility and prestige. These dreams can lead to tunnel vision and inspire extreme behaviors to achieve a goal that may or not be mutual. Talk to your child about their goals and wishes, and make sure to leave room for these to change at any time. 

3. Embrace extracurriculars 

Grades aren’t the only thing that can make a college application sparkle. Identify who your child is through what they’re passionate about. Maybe they have work or volunteer experience that can enhance their college resume. Or maybe their hobbies and talents paint a wildly different picture of who they are than their last report card. Encourage your child to share these parts of themselves that can’t be seen on a transcript — inspiring confidence in things other than just academic success. 

4. Talk through backup plans

Having big goals is a great thing. Most people have a college “first choice” that they feel strongly about for a list of reasons. While some students gladly accept admission to their top pick, others may find it more difficult to achieve for many reasons — not limited to admission or financial capability. Having a second option, or game plan to reach aligned goals is a good thing, even if freshman year won’t look exactly how your child may have dreamed it.

5. Remember who your child is outside of college

As conversations around school turn to college acceptance letters and application deadlines, encourage room for other focus. The college application process is important if college is something your child is passionate about. However, it’s not the only thing that matters. Bring light into your child’s routine by endorsing their hobbies, passions, social life, and family time — even when that means closing the laptop and revisiting that soon-to-be-perfect essay later. 

Chicago Center for Behavioral Health offers individual therapy for teens and adults. If you or your child may benefit from talking to a mental health professional, you can learn more about our services here.