Therapist Thoughts: Thoughts Are Not Fact
In sessions at Chicago Center for Behavioral Health, we often talk about the ever-present differences between thoughts, feelings and behaviors. If you’ve ever worked with a Cognitive Behavioral therapist, you probably already know — these things are all different, and inform how we view ourselves and the world.
As 2024 nears its close, something I’ve been spending more time chatting about with clients is negative self-talk. This can be related to so many parts of the self, be it body image, perceived flaws in personality, or wondering if the wrong thing was said in a recent conversation. Most of us have a voice in our heads that narrates how we perceive ourselves. For some, this voice is a cheerleader. For others, it’s our own biggest critic.
Shining a spotlight on this voice can help us see clearly how exactly we view ourselves, and in turn, the world around us. Maybe the voice is upholding levels of anxiety and rumination, or leading us to make specific choices related to health and routine.
One thing I remind my clients often is that thoughts are not facts. As humans, we have incredible brains that are capable of creativity, imagination, and above all, impulsivity. Thoughts can arrive (and stay) even when they are uninvited. That doesn’t mean the message they bring is true.
You can take some of the power back from the negative voices when you create distance from them. This begins with acknowledging the thought. While you can listen to what it says, you can also decide not to engage or further feed the negative self talk. Instead of falling into a thought spiral about these perceived negative traits, try giving the thought space, and allowing yourself to let it go.
This does not mean that the thought won’t return. The hope is to, over time, allow thoughts to enter our mind and pass through gently. Ideally, this is without tearing up our self esteem and instilling further self doubt.
It’s normal and okay to have insecurities. That’s part of what makes us human. Our imperfections don’t have to define us. While unwanted thoughts may remind us of these things (or may even invent new insecurities we’d never imagined,) it doesn’t mean they’re holding up a mirror. More likely, they’re imagining worst case scenarios as a way to protect us, and warn us of a self-created danger.
While practicing positive self talk, and distancing from the negative voice, I remind clients it’s easier said than done. Changing our internal communication patterns is hard work, and that’s okay. If you need additional support while examining the ways your mind works, our CCBH therapists are trained in therapy modalities to give intentional direction.
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